If Only These Walls Could Talk...

If only these walls could talk back,
It would have so many things to share,
So much that it has seen,
Yet everything will never be heard,
It will all just remain a silent story.

There are so many secrets,
Secrets that should come out,
But these walls won’t talk,
No matter how much you wish they could.

There is so much one says to themselves,
All the words safe within these walls,
You want these walls to scream and shout,
Because you don’t have the courage to do so,
Yet, these walls maintain their silence,
And never once open up to the world.

You shout and fight with the wall,
You paint at these walls,
You take all your anger out at them,
And they stand tall, never to fall,
Listen to all you have to offer.

If only these walls could talk ...

Perfect In Your Eyes....

All I ever wanted you was to talk to me,
Listen to what I really had to say,
Not taking things as if they were a joke,
Treat me the way you treated him.

But things were always different,
And they forever will be,
What’s unfortunate is that,
You don’t even realize it.

For 23 years I’ve been hoping for things to change,
But they never do, they never will,
I’ve got to move away,
Can’t take this shit anymore.

What’s great is that you’ll never know,
What really went through my head?
For you things will never change,
They never have up until this day.

Moving away will be a lot easier,
I’m not going to miss any of it,
As there are no great memories,
It’s all just been a long drag for me.

I’ve learned things on my own,
Picked up on things one step at a time,
But I wanted you to see me,
Believe in me the way you does in him.

Nothing really matter, does it?
As for you everything is fine,
Things are the way they are suppose to be,
Unfortunately you’d never see or know,
The pain and truth behind these eyes.

Because things for you have never changed,
They never can, they never will,
It’s just perfect the way they are,
They are perfect in your eyes.

Why Must You...?

Lovely despair of the night,
Bright sunshine full of life,
Angels are singing,
Devils are thinking,
Why must you crib or complaint?
When there are so many reasons,
For you to be happy.

Live each day,
As it’s your last,
Don’t worry or stress,
It’ll all be immense,
Why must you complicate things even more?
When you know there’s got to be a way out.

Listen to the music of life,
There’s a theme that you can touch,
Life’s driven by a force,
At the right time and on a right speed,
Huddles will come as they go,
Such is the way life’s designed.
Then why must you fear the future at all?
Your fate has to play it’s role at the same time.

Rejoice what you have,
And what you’ve achieved,
It maybe there or,
All lost the very next day,
Why must you think viciously at all?
As what goes around, comes back around.

Along The Wall

You’re asking me to stay,
But I’d rather go,
You’re saying you love me,
Sure if you say so.

All along the wall,
I see you standing,
Waiting for me,
But keep on walking,
I am not gonna come.

I’ve got it all figured out,
I’m gonna go my way,
You’re nowhere in the picture,
Don’t keep going along the wall.

You ripe my heart,
Left me here bleeding,
And now you’ve come,
But the wall is too high.

Is it enough to live?
Is it enough to be loved?
There is much more,
You just couldn’t figure.

I wish you’d stop,
Look for a new beginning,
Put a happy face,
And go on living.

You’d say what I have is ordinary,
It’s just that you don’t understand,
There is too much to be discovered,
All along this wall.

Who's Crying Now ??

It’s worthless, saying you love me,
We’re not on the same page at all,
You’ve been gone for so long,
I’ve totally moved on.

Don’t give me such looks,
As if you didn’t see it coming,
I’ve got better things to do now,
I’m waiting for someone better to come along.

I waited for you to call,
From wherever that you had gone,
I’ve had my share of pain,
Long enough I’ve cried to bed,
It’s over now.

Look into the mirror,
Tell me who you see crying?
It won’t be me anymore,
I’ve been hurt enough.

All I see is something better,
That surely would come along,
In due course of time,
I’ll see it all through my eyes.

Baby! You can’t say you love me now,
You’ve been gone,
It’s just been too long,
I stood there once,
Where you stand now,
Baby! It’s all over,
Look into my eyes,
And tell me who’s crying now?

Up And Away....

 

Two Girls In Love...!

Her girlfriend says she made her queer,
It’s for her to know that she didn’t,
Don’t atone on something you didn’t do.

You only made her stronger,
You made her think clearer,
You made her wanna come out,
Come out to the world,
And not be reluctant,
Not feel out of place.

You in your hearts of heart,
Should know what you did was great,
What you had was good,
Nothing in the world could change that fact,
That’s the truth, the verity of life.

The incredibly true adventures of two girls in love.

Things you can now just tell looking at her,
The world unseen,
It’s a girl’s play,
In the passing time show her love,
She’s all over the world,
With a new perception,
High art, out of season,
Imagine you and I.

Broken Inside ...

Walking this road,
All alone in the dark,
She is trying to find a way,
To get back to the place she belongs,
But she’s so lost inside.

From night till dawn,
She just walks alone,
She wants to go home
But lost in her head
She’s lost in the crowd,
No where to be found.

She doesn’t know who she is anymore,
She’s consumed under her skin,
Pushed away at every door steps,
She’s been rejected,
Feeling unwanted and abandoned,
She’d felt like this everyday.

There are so many problems,
She craves to go home,
But she couldn’t anymore,
There is nobody there,
She walks alone,
Lost in the world,
She looses her soul,
She’s broken inside.

Must stop and look behind,
See the reasons why,
You feel the way you do tonight,
Open your eyes,
Open them and see yourself,
Fight it out, be strong now.

Make your way through,
Just don’t hide your feeling,
And find a place,
Don’t be lost anymore,
Go to the place you belong.

But she’s lost inside,
No where to be found,
Consumed under her skin,
She’s loosing her mind,
She walks in the dark,
Trying to find a way,
But she’s broken inside.

Two Less Lonely People In The World...

On a much lonely day,
I started talking to this girl,
We have had spoken before,
But that was just for a day,
And now alas! We talk again.

There was so much to tell,
So much to hear,
She and I got lost in words,
Some sweet, some bitter,
Some made sense,
And some were just wishful.

But we kept going on,
So much that we wanted to share,
It was like I knew her from some where,
There was just an instant connection,
We are so different, yet the same.

I’d love to meet her someday,
Have coffee, lunch and dinner,
Maybe by the bay,
Thinking of where life will take us,
Maybe we’d be together or maybe not,
But I’d sure love to stay n find out.

Come To Me !!

Everyday I can almost see you,
See you in my dreams,
Think of you in my thoughts,
C’mon c’mon now,
Just break free,
And come to me.

I’ve been waiting for a long time,
Now, can’t bare the thought,
Thought of you not being here,
So c’mon c’mon now,
Why won’t you just break free?
And come to me.

Sitting here all by myself,
Can’t decide how to get you off my mind,
I am just loosing my sight,
I am loosing my mind,
I just crave for you,
Baby! Why don’t you come to me?

Tonight I am just falling,
Need you to hold me,
Get me out of my misery,
I don’t wanna run away from myself,
I am just trying to get things right,
Why won’t you break free?
And come to me.

I just wanna stop the world,
And be there with you,
Melt with you,
See the whole world,
By being at your side,
So baby! Won’t you break free?
And come to me, come to me for good.

Shades of Life !!

The first time she laid eyes on her, she felt an instant connection. She knew she has a crush on her; she was only 11 years old. At that point in time, she didn’t know of the words straight, gay or lesbian meant. All she knew was each moment she was growing fond of her. She could never tell her how crazy she was about her but instead just became her good friend. Later in the year she had to leave town. She was devastated from the very thought that she’d have to leave this girl behind. But in due course of time, she adjusted with the new environment and made new friends. She always had this way she felt about women that she couldn’t understand.

Then she had her first dream; where she kissed a girl. Disturbed and confused was she when she woke up the next morning. Thinking how could she ever have dreamt something like this? Not uttering a word about this to any soul in the world, she kept going on. From then onwards, she started notices this thing about herself, how her friends would talk about their boyfriends and all the pretty boys in town. She would just be with some girl or other, though only in her thoughts.

She started taking chances, a little fooling around with the boys. But deep down she knew that all this just wouldn’t work out. But still, thinking she might be wrong she dated the prettiest boys in town. But every time she did so, she would ask herself. Who are you kidding girl? She couldn’t bear the thought of not telling anyone about this little situation she had. So she finally opened up to the closest friend she had. To her surprise, this friend took it really well. She told her that there is nothing wrong with what you feel. Just take a little more time and if you still feel the same then come in terms with it. You must have to first accept this fact and then go about telling the world.

So she did. Still for a long time she kept convincing herself that the right boy will surely turn up. But by the time she joined college, she met this most amazing girl. She gathered the courage to tell her how she felt. And this girl too felt the same. This little adventure lasted for almost a year. Then her mom found out and things got a little nasty and ugly. So she had to bid farewell to her as well. Totally heart-broken she wanted to run away from the world. But some how she managed to moved on. She gave herself some time to heal the pain she went through.

By the time she finished college she knew that there are just girls she can love. But still giving herself this last chance, she started going around with this wonderful man. Truly giving it a fare shot with no prejudice, she could still not feel the butterflies in her stomach. She tried her level best to like him other than just being friends. But she could just not do it. The feeling just couldn’t come. She knew then for sure that she is gay just like has black hair. For the first time in a long time, she had the courage to say that ‘Yes I am gay’.

This is not something she chose to be but rather how she was born. So is it her fault for the way she is? It’s rather something she couldn’t help. All she needed to do was, to find the courage to walk up to the loved ones and tell them what she really felt. But afraid of the society, rather more afraid of the family of how they would react. It’s easy being accepted by friends but never the family.

Even after 24 years, she still holds this part of her live within her. She is still living a lie in front of her family. She does not want to live this lie anymore. She wants to share this major part of her life. But she is just afraid.

Dirty lil Things

Lying on the bed,
Thinking of what to do,
Nothing seem to cross my mind,
My brain is trying to catch up on things,
Don’t know how it’s going to sustain,
This pain and misery it sees all around.

There is something that needs to be done,
About the situation that we are in,
Talking has left us no where,
We got to think of something completely insane,
A thing that has never been tried before,
Maybe that will get us back to shore,
Get us back to where we belong.

We got to act on it soon,
We ain’t got any time in our hands,
It’s slipping away like the sand,
Think of something really fast,
Better take control of all this trash.

You don’t have to take the blame,
Don’t have to fall from your domain,
You got to take control,
You ain’t gonna get stabbed in this roll,
This is not a game of play card stick ,
That’s being played by freakin’ lunatics.

After a while,
Once we’re through,
Nothing will ever look the same,
It will be a whole new game,
A brand new life, a start from the scratch,
Away from all the smutty trash,
Life’s going to be a funky mix,
Mix of the good, better and great.

Our lil Dream !

I look at ur face,
When u go off to sleep,
You look like an angel,
Lost in ur saccharine dream,
You never open ur eyes,
Until the dawn breaks,
You look at me like,
Like, I mean the world to u.

I see u making breakfast,
Standing in the kitchen,
I see u doing all my laundry,
N every lil thing around my house,
It feels we are meant to be together,
Forever n ever.

This story will last,
Last for more than u can imagine,
M gonna put a ring in ur finger,
N make u mine for the rest of my life.

We’d spend it together,
It will be like our happiest dream,
It will be everything how u wanted,
N m gonna make it true,
It’s gonna last,
Hey baby!
M gonna make it true,
True for u, true for me,
True for us, our perfect lil dream.

State Of Mind

Emotions are running wild,
Taking complete charge of me,
From head to toe,
Don’t really know what to do,
My mind is playing games,
Whose rules I can’t understand,
I need God’s guidance,
Only he can show me the light.

Coming through is not all that hard,
Moving on is a part of life,
Then how come I can’t convince myself,
To just stop and start again fresh,
Why do I keep thinking?
Thinking of the same things,
Over and over again.

All this is running in my mind,
Running like the blood in the veins,
Like the salt in the ocean,
Like the bees and the honey,
Like the scent of the flowers,
That just can’t stay apart,
Or else they’ll loose their meaning,
Their very existence and die!

Should I say I’m loosing it all?
Or maybe not,
It’s just a state of mind,
I will come of it,
Sooner or later I will,
Time will heal it all,
All I need is to come out,
I just have to say it out loud,
Need to plan it right,
Maybe I do need God’s light.

How should I say it?
Should I or shouldn’t I?
All this confusion,
All this distraction,
Everything is running through my mind,
And even then I smile,
I laugh, I have fun,
I do all the things,
Things that make me happy,
Or I jus like to believe they do.

Well I am happy,
Happy because of a lot of reasons,
Reasons I can share,
And some I choose not to,
But all said and done,
Life is pretty,
Sad stuff is there,
It’s only there because of me,
I am holding them inside,
Afraid to admit it,
Afraid to scream it out loud,
That’s maybe why I need God’s light.

I shouldn’t care if someone’s listening,
Maybe they are or maybe not?
I don’t know that,
Then how can I decide?
Assume their reactions before hand?
I should go on and live my life,
Live the way I want to,
Maybe the light is inside me,
And I am just afraid,
Too afraid to see it,
Afraid to even believe it’s there.

I should believe in it,
Miracles do happen,
They happen every time,
I just need to have faith,
Faith is above all.
Now, tell me,
Isn’t it all just a state of mind?

Come Away With Me. . .

Come be with me,
Stay with me,
And cherish what you have,
Think of what you had,
And what you can achieve,
Don’t move away,
Jus stay still,
You will see the magic,
That’s going on,
The magic itself is life.

You are drifting away,
Like the sand in the hand,
Don’t be like that,
Listen to that inner voice,
Come away with me.

Life is beautiful,
All you gotta do is open your eyes,
Open your mind,
Open your heart,
Welcome every moment as it comes,
You only got one chance,
Don’t let it slip away.

You will find what you are looking for,
You just have to look deep inside,
Search the soul,
Read between the lines,
Think what you never thought,
Give that thought a meaning,
Make it come alive.

You have the power to bring a change,
Don’t expect other to do it for you,
At every step of life,
You can do things to make a difference,
You have to bring those changes in you,
Only you can speak for yourself,
And nobody else,

And you will find your destination!!

A lifetime with me,
to be able to share each moment with me,
live with me,
Witness my life with you,
at every step,
in every moment,
For the rest of our lives that shall be,

Baby, Come away with me...

"would you" OR "wouldn't you" ??

Can you accept me
For who I am?
Would you say that I’m confused?
I wouldn’t.
Would you ever consider me greedy?
I wouldn’t.
Would you say that I’m unfaithful?
I wouldn’t.
I can be loyal and fall in love,
Just like everyone else around me.

Do I need your approval
To live my life?
To take decisions?
I really don’t think so,
Because this is something,
That I just know.
I want you to understand,
understand me and do not judge.
Please never ever think any less of me
Just because of who I choose to love.

And now,
Would you say that I’m a wonderful person?
I would.

Far and Away !!

The first time u laid eyes on me,
there was a twinkle in ur eyes,
that u just couldn’t defy.

It was I who didn’t understand,
didn’t feel the love u felt.
And now, a long time has passed by,
there is so much that has happened in-between.

But at this very point of time,
I need u tell me, tell me that u love me.
But u wouldn’t, would u??
No, no, no, no…..

That twinkle in ur eyes have lost it’s charm,
the feelings u had have far long gone,
yet I need u to say it,
jus say that u still love me,
oh! Baby, just tell me what I need to hear,
I need u to say it one more time,
just say that u love me!!!!

Life is such...!

I went for a walk with my girlfriend one day.
I walked beside her like she was just someone I knew.
While couples passed holding hands,
I wished that was something we could do too.

We went out one night,
To a neighborhood bar.
While couples held each other and danced,
We stood off afar.

We went to our friend’s wedding,
And watched the two exchange vows.
We wanted so much to do the same,
But unfortunately it is not allowed.

My girlfriend met with an accident,
She got admitted into the hospital.
I wanted so much to be by her side.
But because I wasn’t related I had to leave,
And then she left me, she just died.

I sat with her picture,
And said my last goodbye.
While her family sat in the front row at the funeral,
I watched from the window far outside.

Contract Killers !!

Drops, drops n drops, oh! Its summer what rocks over d arcade?
Moving upwards, we appalled by d moving blood spread in d shed.
Accosting 2wards the tap, we washed our face n acting audacious,
Again we move, move n move but that red one make us anxious…

Dam of d blood...from door to the floor….sinister is d scene,
11 in the clock with a dully night make all us too mean,
Solemnity makes us to face the red n my mate really deloused,
An eye of ours just froze, and brain seems to be not ever used..

Earnestly, collecting the white cloth my mate is really ambling,
Midnight shouts with d dogs, and we assumed as a "life is gambling",

As he cleaned d body's face, he shocked n then his pulse debacle,
Adversity took me near by the two, n I am ready for d coming battle.

Alas!! That face allure's me like a magnet n I simply baffled,
Staring over d dead man's face, at clone copy make me shocked,
My acuity of vision seems to be failed n cause a cleft in the brain,
A gaping, at d clone, my leg skids n then d blood bursts 4m my vein,

Entirely, I felt anguish n laid down aside my mate over d clone dead,
Both of us merged wd d blood in d room like a cloth rinsed in d mud..
Squeezing like a cloth in water, we two rinsed in d blood entire night,
Those dreadful sessions neither makes us alive nor dies without a single hungry byte…

Our eyes get closed as d time approaches see towards the non-stop rising morning,
D routine brings my girlfriend there, who wake us with a tea along sun shining
We babbled by staring d normal door along ad our shiny floor,
It make us rooms entire flat, with a no marks n all we make our time bore..

That nightmare makes a mark on us, but next night as I say let it be n hoping fine,
Ignoring it all, we two silently sat with all d exhausting with a pack of our fav wine,
That’s not only a night, a symbolic to all who hunts in d life as a profession,
Blood flows, but may too flow in their own journey n destination………..

D next day….journey is so pathetic with despotism in our lane,
Hard for us all d way to let d other's blood out of vein is a bit Bain,
Descrying the theme, neglecting our diurnal tasks we left d city with a pain,
The two anarchists depart, with a pace of uncanny flair for discovering d main.

Friends !!!!

Darkness is everywhere, silent is world, no where
is gems,
Cross the barrier, hold the hand for battle is known
as friends...

When stars above the sky is playing game with u,
The shadow which sweeps, is your friend who really
miss u...
He walks n throw kiss, when the folk will bliss,
He feel the pain, throw the sweat n will give u
cheese.
Troubles n nightmare will pinch u 2 loose the game,
you will receive a fragrance of love, what your friends
deed as a aim..
He handle your badtime as a never die legend,
Walks with your soul n will shine like a diamond..

Rays of glory will when keep u as a target
He claps n will zoom, n shape u in every minute.

At the time of farewell, he holds your hands n will shy,

u will stand stoutly, watches gently n will cry..

But that’s not the end, that’s the celebration,
Plays with your tears n will distribute emotions..

Generation over generation, they twinkles as a cloud
of stars,
They flow in your blood without caring the bunch of
scars.
They are rare, they care, they are born 2 hold you,
Its up 2 you, wear n tear, but they will love you..

Du you Remember??

Remember the times,
when we snuck out n met,
All the hours we spent together,
stayed up all night,
playing scrable, drinkin' sodas,
givin nick names to each other.
Do u remember?
I do, I do remember,
remember the memory lane that has now been shut,
I know deep down u remember,
u remember maybe more than I do,
It brings so much happiness to ur day,
thinkin of the happy times of ur lives,

Open the gates,
open the gates to ur mind, to ur heart,
let the thoughts crawl back in,
u will feel good,
I know u will,
memories are worth keepin,
n not forgettin,
keep them locked,
don't let go,
never let go,

Remember! remember those moments,
the good old days of our lives,
n when u do,
u will feel happy,
the excitement will run through ur veins,
let ur heart feel a lil warmth,

you will be forgiven,
not forgotten, self-realisation,

I hope u remember,
I really think u do. . .

A lot like love

When u look into my eyes,
Its like u can see the blue blue sky,
even when its night,
u see the clear blue sky.

ur touch makes me think,
think of all the little things I love in my life,
Its like the fire dancin' with water,
n the fire doesn't seem to go off,
It burns even more n more,
this is a lot like love.

'so come a lil closer'
feel the love I feel,
see the love I see,
stay with me on this,
see my heart the way I see yours,
It feels a lot like love.

your mine n I am yours,
It is goin to last a long long while,
Its goin to be forever,
I am here, I will always be,
Its like when u say,
'your mine forever'

Let us freeze the moment that way.

Prisoner

This place fels like a prison suddenly,
the walls are closin on me,
I can hear my mind say,
breakfree, breakfree from this place u call home,
it doesn't feel like it anymore,
I am a prisoner.

I am sick of people tellin me,
wat to do, wat not to do,
I have a mind of my own, everybody does,
gimme a chance to think,
gimme a chance to be myself,
don't treat me like a prisoner,
coz otherwise,
ur mind will explode,
ur thoughts will break,
ur soul will shatter,
n then there is nothin left of u.

let me out,
lemme see the world through my own eyes,
lemme jus speak my mind,
just let me live for chirst's sake,
don't keep me like a prisoner.

I am not dead,
I am very much alive,
let me try, let me see,
let me do things my way,
thats what there is to it,
n nothin else,
n nothin else,
I am not a prisoner.